June 26, 2022

Hi Darling,

Sorry again. So busy. Lots to tell you. I guess I’ll start with the things that upset me this week.

Summit this week. Remember my office best friend from Oregon? Yeah, well, I definitely got the sense that he was interested in more than friendship. The last day he was here, he wasn’t feeling well, nausea, headache, etc. Apparently, he gets sick like this a lot. After the summit was over, I drove him back to his hotel because he needed to lie down. We had dinner reservations that evening. He managed to put himself together enough to not cancel.

Dinner was fine. Only thing weird was that he smiled at me a lot. Then he asked if I’d like to see his hotel room because he had an en suite at a pretty nice hotel in Long Island. I was intrigued because this is a location I’d always heard about but never been to. I think wedding receptions get held here. Anyway, I said why not? Because we’re just friends and he has a longtime girlfriend/fiance that he’s always mentioning during work.

I had also filled him in on what happened with Berra earlier this year. He was making jokes along the lines of, “Are you sure you trust me?” Of course I did! My radar would have gone off by now. But it didn’t.

Not until we were on the couch in his room talking and watching TV. I remember at some point while talking to him, he leaned his body towards me and a bit closer. And then that same wide-ass grin from dinner. That’s when I first started to feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t planning to spend more than 30 minutes there anyway. Somehow, he ended up telling me that he used to be one of those guys, like Berra, that would hit on girls. I was surprised by that and expressed my shock. Then he mentioned how he had been fired without warning from his job in Washington state because he had told a co-worker that he and his gf were open to seeing other people and if she’d like to go to dinner sometime. HR was at his desk the next day to escort him out the door.

So I briefly mentioned my similar situation from “The Firm.” We both laughed. But then he rubbed his hand on my bare shoulder. Again, with that wide-ass grin. Again, I felt uncomfortable. That’s when I said it was time for me to leave. As I was walking out the door, he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” No no, I had to go. I hope you feel better, I told him. To which he replied something along the lines of, “How could I not, I just spent the last hour with a beautiful woman.” That comment felt inappropriate and now for the third time in 30 minutes, I’m uncomfortable.

I remember walking down the hotel hallway toward the elevators just feeling discombobulated. Mainly just SO disappointed. He was my office best friend. Someone I felt I could totally let my guard down around. And now I just can’t. He’s going back to Oregon and he’s such a weakling that flights exacerbate how sick he generally is that I probably won’t see him again for a year. But it’s like, now all these idiosyncrasies about are adding up to paint a really weird, creepy guy.

He doesn’t have any friends outside of work. In fact, I might be his only friend aside from his girlfriend, if they are even still really together. He doesn’t even go out to get groceries. I don’t understand how a couple in a healthy relationship just spend all of their spare time at home. Neither of them have cars. Also, she doesn’t work. He completely supports her but I don’t think he makes a good amount of money. And was it true what he said about them being in an open relationship? All of this just sounds odd. On top of the very unstable home life he grew up in: he never knew his dad, he knocked his mom up and disappeared. His mom was married to three different men, NOT including his biological father. The last stepdad he had was verbally and physically abusive and while his mom was divorcing him, the stepdad did sexually assaulted his sister. SO unstable.

I had asked for pictures of his girlfriend. Couldn’t find any on his phone, had to go on Facebook. Took a long time to find pics on her account and the one he did find was from several years ago. Which reminded me that earlier in the day, when my boss was giving out some hot sauce that she’s made and is trying to sell, I asked him if his girlfriend would like a bottle. His response was, “I don’t even know anymore.” Which is odd from a person who constantly talks about going to have dinner with his lovely, redheaded girlfriend. I’m starting to think that my co-worker has taken pages from Miss Piggy’s playbook and has made the whole thing up. While they may have been together in the past, they may not be together now. Or, she’s just using him as her cash cow.

Anyway, that was disappointing. On top of that, the old man who installed the new fence on my property sent me a text asking me out. He offered to accompany me hiking and stuff in the area if I was interested. I did not respond to his text and deleted it. He’s 65 years-old, fat and has HORRIBLE teeth. I mean like, hillbilly bad. I feel uncomfortable because we were making conversation and he knows enough that I’m living here by myself. So like, he could just come by whenever! Granted, he lives in Carmel so it’s a bit of a ways off, but still. Complications.

Then yesterday evening, Bono started bleeding from his penis. It started as a few drops that I saw after wiping him from our walk. Then he was just dripping blood, he couldn’t stop peeing, the urine had blood in it. I had to take him to the emergency room and the first one I could find that was open 24/7 was in Kingston, about 45 minutes away.

I got there at 8:30pm and didn’t leave until 12:30pm. They were very busy and there were other animals with more serious conditions than Bono. Like, there was another dog having seizures. Good thing was that they had a lab onsite so they did a urine analysis from a sample I brought in. Raging infection, ding ding ding. But there were some sort of granular casts which indicated a potential kidney problem, so they did bloodwork, too. I had to wait for them to be free to take a sample and then wait for the results. Fortunately, his kidneys are fine, so they pumped him with antibiotics and sent me home with some amoxycillin and probiotics.

I didn’t get home until after 1 am, didn’t get to bed until 2ish but then Bono still felt the need to go, both #1 and #2 closer to 5am. THANK GOD for the diapers I’ve put him on because they have saved my bedroom rug and floor from his blood stained urine. He’s feeling SO much better today. No signs of blood, less urgency to go. He’s had more time to just sleep and recuperate. So I’m feeling better. But man, B, the sight of blood coming out of his penis for hours was very worrisome.

So I didn’t really get to sleep last night. I tried to take it easy today but then felt guilty. I really want to get that patio set up. I had spent Saturday morning trying to level some dips in the backyard. I started off with sand but that wasn’t working. I happened to have a handyman here that day to remove the flooring in the basement. He suggested using dirt instead and tamping it down. That worked brilliantly. So Sunday midday I went to Lowe’s to get some dirt to finish leveling. Took a 4-hour break when the heat became too unbearable, then went back our around 5pm to transport the flagstone in my shed to the patio area. Oh, right, update: not using deck tiles anymore. Realized there was all this leftover stone in the shed that I need to get rid of. Might as well use if for the patio. AND IT’S FREE! I finished doing the dry-lay. Next I’ll need to adjust the joints and maybe reposition some of the stones and then level some of the ones that are uneven underneath. I was hoping for a 12 x 15 patio area but this looks like it’s about 8 x 14. Again, not complaining since the material was free. I burned almost 2900 calories yesterday.

Painters also started yesterday. It’s going well. Couch is also coming tomorrow. It got rescheduled last minute. I’ll take pictures later this week and share. Getting excited seeing this all come together.

Finally fixed the clog in the slop sink. It required a plunger in the end. I haven’t heard back from the radon people. They seem backlogged. I may have to find someone else.

Oh, I haven’t mentioned Berra in a while because he’s pretty much left me alone. Doesn’t even talk to me about work, just goes through my boss. But at the summit this week, I led a session and he felt the need to respond to one of my comments. Forgot to mention, at a previous meeting in May, he made a comment when we had a potential partner visiting that kinda threw shade at me. He was talking about how he goes around engaging with his people and that “some people don’t understand what he’s doing.” Total shade. Anyway, this week during my session, I had informed the partners of some exciting work on my team’s plate but also asked all my co-workers to please be mindful with their asks because I have a lot of work to do.

So Berra responded and said that, there will always be ad hoc requests but at the same time, the various teams could do a better job getting the information they need on their own instead of going to the reporting team all the time. And he saw that the did a very poor attempt to cancel or sunset some of our existing reports. So he challenged them to do better. Yes, I do feel like he stood up for me. I also didn’t realize he knew what a shit job the Ops team did editing their list of reports. Seems like he’s keeping on top of what’s going on in my team from my boss.

Alright, I need to get to bed. Oh! My Oregon co-worker mentioned that he started using StitchFix (again, because he doesn’t go anywhere) so I decided to check it out. I have my first box coming by the end of this week but I also already purchased some “freestyle” pieces. I haven’t bought nice clothes in such a long time. Everything has been workout/loungewear. I think I may also need to start dressing for my current size which is more 6 than 4 and I need to just accept it. Intrigued! Will keep you posted.

OH! Can’t leave without saying this: I had a new experience with my microphone last week, the new one I bought after watching the 365 Days sequel. I learned something new and wanted to share with you and was disappointed that you weren’t there for it. And I can’t talk about it here. But we’ll talk in person. Remember how I could only sing on the outside? I sang from the inside for the first time! You missed it.

Love you, miss you.